Yesterday America was shocked and perplexed by the shooting and death in Virginia of a reporter and a camera man while conducting a live interview. Such tragic deaths have become too commonplace in the United States. Along with the shock and sorrow, there is also plenty of blame to go around for why these things happen. Many say we need more or better gun control. Others say we need to enforce existing laws. Some say the problem is mental illness.
Despite all the accusations, it seems evident to me that the problem is partly a result of a nation of people who want to claim every freedom and embrace the widest diversity, but who consider moral duties beneath them. We need a new set of American values. We must start with "charity for all" that President Lincoln referred to in his second inaugural address.
As it is now, do we teach our children to laugh at or take advantage of people or do we teach them to appreciate the good in others and even sacrifice our own time or resources for the benefit of others? I think most people teach the first one.
Do we teach them to look down on people who aren't as capable, wise, or successful as themselves or do we teach them to forgive people's weaknesses, help those less capable, and lift others by their successes? Again, I think most people teach the first one.
It's up to each of us as individuals to promote concern for others as the number one American value. All the laws in the world aren't going to stop these killings until as a nation we all value each other. It will continue to get worse as long as our number one value is individualism.
Take a little time to evaluate your own attitudes toward other people. How do you view other drivers on the road? How do you react? How do you treat people who have hurt you? How do view those who are unpopular or unpleasant?
Answers to these kinds of questions will give some insight into a major problem in our lives and our nation. Imagine these kinds of attitudes present in an unstable person. They get those values from the rest of us. They get them from our "entertainment" as well.
The worst we routinely see in people is a magnified view of problems in our culture. Change people and you'll change the culture. Change the culture and you'll change the people. It starts with each one of us.
What to teach children:
- Teach children that we are all valuable and important
- Teach them to forgive others who hurt them
- We should try to understand how others feel and do things that help them feel good
- Often when people hurt us, they don't fully realize what they are really doing
- Sometimes people are mean because they were taught to be (by family, friends, culture, etc.)
- If we hurt someone else, we should always try to make it better (apology, correct the problem, etc.)
- Teach them to accept responsibility for their own actions, rather than blaming others
Media and friend influences
- Always try to be aware of what messages your children are getting from TV, movies, Internet, books, etc.
- Limit the amount of violent and self-serving behavior they see in media
- Encourage media that uplift and inspire - avoid mindless media just to fill time
- Discuss with them any violent or selfish behaviors they are exposed to
- Assess what they are thinking about what they have seen
- Help them see the harm those things can bring when people do them
- Help them to understand that life can be better for everyone when we care about others
- Know whom your child spends time with and get to know them
- Get to know their parents too
- Have regular conversations with your children about what they are doing with their friends
- Assess what they are learning from them and how they are thinking about it
