Fifty Shades of Crap

Values addressed: Love people, Keep passions in their proper place.

Fifty shades of crap smeared on the movie screen. Swarms of people run to see. What are they hoping for? Will they get their money’s worth? Will they get some twisted thrill? The gatekeepers turn a blind eye to any harm society may receive—their pockets are lined, from producer to theater.

So what about the cognitive triangle? Do we not know that thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are linked? Put crap in our thoughts, it creates crap in our feelings and behaviors. It’s pretty simple to see and yet there they are: swarms of people waiting, as the gatekeepers—or shall we say the Pied Pipers—gleefully lead them on.

Where is prevention today? It was once said that an ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure. But our Pied Pipers say, “Who gives a d$$$. It’s not our job to prevent abuse. It’s not our job to elevate moral standards. If people buy, we’ll produce!”

But think: this is just the beginning! Where will they lead us next? What twisted, despicable worlds will they drag us into? Or will they think, “Okay, I guess I’ve made enough money. Now I can actually produce something uplifting or useful”? Doubtful I’m sure. We the people support their cause, handing them money to teach our young men how to treat our daughters.

Is innocence so undesirable that we’d rather jump in and swim in the crap? It’s just a movie you say? Don’t forget the cognitive triangle! Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors influence each other. We don’t watch crap and remain unaffected. Either we turn more against it or we become more conditioned to accept it.

So if you have, or plan to have, children one day or if you have nieces or nephews that you care about, be sure about whom you pay to teach them how to live in this world. The media are powerful influencers of our cultural values. What harm they cause today can linger for decades. It’s just a movie now, but piled together masses of entertainment shape our culture for good or for bad.

What to teach children: 

Sex is a private and gentle expression of love between a husband and wife.
It brings children into the world and helps unite their parents.
Many people have turned it into a plaything, which causes many problems in our world.
In some ways, it's like a drug that can get people hooked.
Sex is not the same as love.
Love is the greater goal. Sex is only a special part of married love.
Movies and other entertainment involving sex degrade it and make it less special.
Such media also lead more people to treat it just as a plaything.
We must be careful what entertainment we consume.
What we watch, listen to, and read can affect us in ways we may not understand until it's too late.
People who produce bad entertainment are not bad people; they usually don't fully realize what harm they are causing.
What people wear (especially girls) and what they talk about can entice another person to want sex, stirring desires in wrong times and places.
Help them understand that as their parent you want to help them make the best choices about media, dress, associations, etc.
Teach them to come to you with questions about these things.

Before they know what sex is, teach:

No one has a right to touch their bodies without permission.
Their private areas are meant to stay private to keep them safe.
Exceptions to privacy are at the doctor's office or with a parent for cleaning/bath time (until old enough to care for themselves).

Avoid:

Avoid making sex sound like it's evil, dirty, bad, etc. It just has a proper place and time.
Avoid labeling people--label only behaviors as wrong.
Avoid overreacting to their questions, ideas, etc. They are young and learning.The world will put things in front of them and it is your job to help them see why the world's idea may not be so good.